Awful Poetry

   - Terribly Earnest

After my post yesterday where I shared excerpts of letters written to me by a boy with an enormous crush, it seems only fair to reveal myself in a similar manner. The following is some of the poetry I wrote during the demise of my friendship with my first serious lesbian crush.

 

Ain’t love grand?

 

I’m torn between feeling sorry for younger me and telling myself to get over it already

 

Untitled #5
“Act out being alive, like a play. And after a while, a long while, it will be true.”
– John Steinbeck, East of Eden

 

It isn’t working John —
All day long I play the part,
I live it.
But at night when the curtain goes down,
I fall apart backstage.
– Me

 

 

Untitled #6
Does it hurt you as much
As it hurts me?
Can you feel the pain inside?
Not just a longing for what
we had,
But a burning, searing hurt,
That flashes through like wild fire,
Whenever I think of you.
It’s torn a piece right out of me,
And each time the wind whistles through,
The tears are brought to my eyes,
Does it do the same to you?

 

 

Untitled #7
On the phone.
When I was going home.
You’ve said “good-bye” before.
But it was different this time,
It never hurt like this.
Then again …
It was the first time you said
Good-bye
Forever.

 

 

Untitled #8
I really thought that you would call,
But you didn’t.
I thought that you would write back,
But you didn’t.
I thought you’d send some kind of message,
But you didn’t.

I thought we’d be best friends forever,
But we weren’t.

Untitled #9
I’m going to die
And no one seems to take
Me seriously
Or give a fuck
And it won’t be long
Before I’m more afraid of living
Than of dying.

 

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